In yesterday’s post, I referenced a live video I’d posted on Facebook. Feel free to not try to watch it, since here’s a little synopsis:
I discussed how I just started exercising yesterday, after about 6 months of doing nothing. I’d undergone a knee replacement almost a year ago, and am facing getting the other one done. I’d like to lose some weight and try to be in the best shape possible so that I can have an easier recovery this time around.
I fully expected to wake up this morning, unable to move because of muscle soreness. To my surprise, I slept well and had no soreness. Dreams were more vivid and there was the tiniest of headaches on awakening, which was an hour later than usual.
Since I am trying to not only listen to my body, but understand what it is saying, I took some time to process this and realized that these were symptoms of detoxification, more than anything else.
Back in 2012, I wrote and posted an article on this blog about detoxification. In the 7 years since then, I have faced some very difficult (to me) challenges. I even wrote and posted some articles about the specific circumstances, thinking they could maybe help someone who might be feeling similarly challenged. I have since removed them from general viewing, understanding that they were written during times of personal hardship. It is not my role to negatively affect those on a healing path.
I learned about Ho’oponopono, a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness a few years back, and have been using it often, as I come up against realizations about how I may have inadvertently negatively affected others while on my journey. It is said that everything in life is just a mirror of things inside of ourselves. Now, whenever something “negative” comes up in my experience, I look to see what inside me is being mirrored.
My current detoxification experience is pointing out that my lack of willingness to exercise is less about fear of pain or injury and more about the unconscious knowledge that it is time to make amends to those I have inadvertently affected. For me, there is a lot of shame around this, as my ego was very invested in being one who is always helpful. Yet, underneath this was a need to control, and like the person who wants to “help” an emerging butterfly escape from it’s cocoon, I see now that many of my past efforts were actually quite harmful.
So this post is for those harmed by me. Even if you never read this, I have faith that the energy and intent of my Ho’oponopono prayer will somehow reach you.
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.”
For a downloadable Ho’oponopono Infographic, please visit the Tools for Your Self Love Journey page.